It starts off as an amazing adventure. You're on the beach, and you see this vast ocean of oppertunity, it's blue and inviting and you dive in.
There are so many interesting job positions, and so many ways you feel that you could contribute, so many ways you could grow.
That's how it feels for the first 12 applications you send in, that don't lead to anything.
Then, as if from nowhere.
The sun hides behind a cloud, a dark cloud which appears from nowhere and covers the sky with the most awful gray color you have ever seen. But you still enjoy the warm water, the water remains blue and is still filled with an incredible amount of fish, and you try to catch them, knowing you're swimming further and further from the shore. The water is getting colder, the waves are growing bigger. You start to loose confidence, and control You start grasping at small streams of hope. The sky turns darker by the minute. That is how it feels after you pass the 40th job application. A storm is approaching, in the coulds and inside your chest. And the ripples in the water turn in to a giant wave swallowing you whole.
You paddle, it's too far from the shore, it's too stormy to continue. What have you done? Whose idea was it? Why did you embark on this journey. You become desperate, grabbing anything that sticks, seaweed, plastic, anything that gives you a sense of stability and to keep you afloat. The storm is getting worse. The waves are no longer taking any pause, they continue hitting your fragile chest time after time. You stop peddling and you decide to float. The sky is now pitch black, the water is ice cold and no fish, no land and no hope is in sight. That is how it feels when you've sent the 60th application.
While you lay there in darkness you notice something. You are no longer in panic, Things are as they are. You rise your head above the water, you look up at the sky, and you see that in the pitch black sky, there are stars. You let the current lead you to shore, where you catch your breath, sit on the shore and watch the sunrise. Then, once you've dired up you enter the waters again, because one phone call, one interview booked, even if it doesn't end in job security, or adventure, offers a promise. And that is all that you can hope for. There is always.....tomorrow.