During 2015 I gained a lot of weight and lost a lot of muscles and stamina during pregnancy. I love my body, and am grateful for the gifts it has given me, the strength to bear children and to survive two very difficult pregnancies.
From the time I was 13 until I was 19 I was morbidly obese. I was never really bothered by it, other than annoying comments from certain individuals who mostly projected their insecurities on me. I learned at a young age to see through them. Nobody bullied me in fact I was blessed with plenty of good friends, I wasn't particularly suffering health wise, and my biggest issue was finding a good pair of jeans.
So when I started college and the student +15 kg became the student -35 kg I started to realize what a strange and wonderful world it was to be in a "normal" BMI range. I felt less tired, more alert and dared to do a lot more sports, and I found the love of running. Suddenly 10k or even 30k didn't hurt my knees! I never (other than to curb peoples disbelief that one could achieve all of that without a special diet) made a side to side pic of myself to show off the "new" me. Because there was no new me. Doing so would mean that I reject the person I was when I was heavy, and I loved that person, even if when she was way too emo for her own good.
So now that I'm back to being less fit and having frail hips, I see how my body has taken a toll and I remember what it once was able to do....like Aikido 3 days a week. Last week I went to a Krav Maga class and only lasted for 9 minutes! And it made me miss being able to fully utilize my body, to the fullest.
So I've made a promise to myself. To thank my body by rebuilding it again, step by step. I want to climb trees with my kids and chase them up and down the street without having to catch my breath every few seconds. And I want to grade in Aikido. I really miss it. It will be what i'm working towards.
My journey begins, with small but decisive steps. I will write about it time to time. You won't get; pictures of diets, shakes, protein updates, low carb rants, fat anxiety or gym pics. That I can certainly promise you.
Pic of ME before AIKIDO class in 2012